sullen winter

sullen winter, a photo by Anna Pirzada on Flickr.

Rapture

soft murmurs,
on the lips
sweeter than honey,
rosier than roses
drowned in a tranquil,
sweet slumber
there lies
a fair maiden
her dainty feet
tuck'd underneath,
slender fingers
curled
clasping one another
the golden light kisses
tenderly
the locks
that curldown
the wind that caresses
 and leaves
whispers your name
in every willow
and yet oblivious
like a waif
the emrald eyes
blink
lifting the curtain
ever so softly
and shutting again
i confess
intrusion
of this brilliant
radiant beauty
glory of which
guided me
and drew me
like a magnet
i have sinned
passionately
O!beloved...
lost in wonder
charmed and possessed

pardon me
my dearest
as hopelessly drenched i am
in rapture!

Lament

of the days gone by


never more did the wish arose

to mourn languished love

hollow words

ready lies

mocking

pinching

with more smiles

came more knavery

concealing basic principles

of forbearance

relinquishing smiles and tears

surrendering all claims

to mortality

to soul

S P L I N T E R S

like a broken toy

i carry with me

the remains of what use to be

a simple joy

faith that the heart nursed

absurdly sweet

buffoonish

the wind tossed me brutally and rigorously

unmasking the crudeness

the materiality

i stand alone

with barren hands gaping wide

 dreams

slipping away

one by one

bewlidered now

lost in a fog

frosted and grey

and as glum as it could be

sullenly cold

a funeral of defunct memories

burried under heaps

of mendacious and feigned zeal

sham nous

sham bonds

sham all

E u p h e m i s m

 

don't read too much,

into my plainspoken expression,

I often misqquote myself,

underrate my cognitive process,

verbalize sharp wordedly,

articulating unseasonably,

of what is left,

in an interrupted,

lamentable excuse for a conversation,

never bridging the void,

intensifying futile endeavours,

of reaching out,

attaining delusive outcome,

where the anima merges,

into obscurity ,

only breaking away all the more,

from actuality,

conformity,

veracity.

Money woes

These days when a couple goes for the eternal knot , the financial crisis turns into a marital crisis and then comes the conflict,arguments and blame games.The quixotic tales of the past , where everything ended with a "happily ever after" scenario are a bit hard to assimilate in modern times.When the battle of the nerves continue  to make ends meet , there is hardly any time left for the survival of such notions. The huge finances that gobble us down and cringe our existence make it impossible for the knight in shining armour to afford his armour.It did not cost a darn cent in the past to make children fall in love with the concept, where everything would eventually fall into place and poor little desolute damsel would be swept off her feet by a handsome prince .

There is always light at the end of the tunnel , except for the fact that light is a train and you're standing on the tracks,.it is more like  you know you're falling and no one calls 911 or worst . If one of the partners is the bread earner it could easily end up into self pity for the other , the incessant bludgeon of not doing enough compared to their spouse causes bitterness.The adaptations made to re-shape the lifestyles accordingly  eats away all the charm that is left to the dreamy bubble, reality hits hard and blows out all the affection.For better or for worse vows tilt the equilibrium to worse side and sharing the worse becomes a challenge. It does not merely stops at being a problem related to earning enough dough and no sinlge plan can workout for such marriages . It requires numerous modifications and compromises since there are no bailouts and no fairy god mothers .

Erasing debts and mopping out the economic dust that accumulates under the carpet of life is not an easy procedure and calls for resilience and patience.Till then it is safe to stop aiming for objectives that are out of reach and focalize the  priorities.Enjoy the simple pleasures of life becuase the rosy glow of pre-marriage romance may not be there.Talking things out on a regular basis and dishing out concerns honestly, is one way of getting the load of the chest .Sinking down under the weight of financial woes could be an easy escape but to stay afloat one needs courage and endurance.

As the maiden yearns...

soft enamoured breath,
delicate slender fiingers,
sunkissed tendrils ,
that swing around the angelic face,
rests by the window,
a soul unaccompanied,
in her sighs lie concealed,
the yearning,
of a departed mate,
wakeful she stays ,
in starry nights,
and when the moon's illuminated,
serene slumbers ,
are gone with her beloved,
she begs to the lord,
as her bruised bossom,
is filled with woe,
to be with his knight,
to be carried by the wind,
to his world,
she would play her harp,
so sadly melodious,
that strangers would weep,
none knew  ,
tis' pretty fair dame,
was fading,
and sinking in vales of lament,
and off she flew,
one day,
like a dandelion,
to a distant,
but familiar territory,
her darling's abode,
where all lost souls meet,
never again ,
would she mourn,
or shed a tear,
for her heart ,
is filled with unspeakable pleasure ...

Me , not you....

I am all porous,

but not see through,

I'll let you reside in me,

but never open the doors,

you can stay in the thoughts,

but am never thinking about you,

you can scar me,

but not the soul,

you can look,

but not see,

you can hear,

but not contemplate,

people surround me,

but I stand alone,

so you are here,

but not for me...

O' Baby !

you came into my world,
O' lil one ,
with prayers ,
as I worshiped deep in the nights,
 your tiny heart started pumping,
and you came alive in my womb,
my body started to alter,
modify according to your needs,
stretching tummy and growing bossom,
 my heart just swells with love,
when I think of your dainty feet and soft palms,
I  long to hold you,
O' dear one,
to snuggle and cuddle,
to rock you gently in my arms,
to see the twinkle in your father's eyes ,
as he watches you smile,
you bring worlds full of joy into our lives,
you complete me as a person,
before you came I was only a wife and a daughter,
you taught me to be a mother,
how can I ever thank you O' lord,
for blessing us ,
with a gift so precious,
may our child be pious and respectful,
O' baby may you learn to respect ,
your loving grandma and caring grandpa,
may you look after us as we do,
and grow up to be a better human being,
may your destiny lead you to a path of success,
and the journey of life teach you to have faith,
may you be a star amongst the stars,
the brightest and the prettiest...

A lil' nipper in me...

wide eyed and artless,

as a fawn in wilderness,

I miss the skills of enshrouding,

the warmth and ardour that emanates,

unwillingly I flow into ethereal currents of faith and reliance,

I may not recognize my deep nestled ambition,

only that I reach out for arcs of colours in the skies,

and promises of beguiling cosmos,

my gullible tendencies appall a few,

as I unchain myself,

of delusive orthodox criterion,

I gather my being as the world melts away,

and fly into deep lyrical rhythms,

simple symphonies of existence...

A C H E

dew drops

in the cups of desire

ignite rage

furiously drawing vitality

summoning life

in a perishing emptiness

hauntingly adhere

enkindling the corona of ardour

rejoicing frenzied thirst

locked and entangled

in sweet knots

mesmerised and betrayed into submission

longing to be a captive

a slave

of insatiable ache

Off The Rack ...

Off the rack ,
in the boxes ,
we tape and tie and seal,
long summer days,
tree houses,
squirrels,
mango smoothies,
school bus,
fat fairy tale books,
birthday bashes,
drifting milestones,
badminton,jymnastics and karate,
chaotic day dreams,
sweet sixteen and a sweet lot,
haircuts,
exams and med school,
wild rovers and chocolates,
rooftops,
backyards,
loud music,
drizzles and rain dance,
ducks,pigeons,parrots and cats,
scribbles,
sketches and poems,
full moons and sun sets,

"off the rack" & in the boxes....

A sullen winter

In the creases of the black velvet,

As it grows cold,

The night spreads the arms,

Never really sure ,

If the rain would come...

Thoughts are a riot,

They storm and pour,

Stepping down the ladders,

Of reason and truth,

Excuses to go on,

Promises of a sunshine...

Tell me not to worry,

In a frosted glass house ,

Tell me I can dream..

For these stubborn grey clouds,

May roar and howl,

Tell me you can charm,

The lil' glum beads,

To kiss and wash away,

A sullen winter...

Chapter Closed

The light's too dim,

Door's locked,

Voices fade away,

I erase you out of my book,

The book of the lost,

Page by page,

Every smile,

Every frown,

Blocking out the youth,

The thoughts that mattered,

Breaking away the unspoken agreement,

You took away , what was yours,

In huge chunks,

You took me away too,

I may not start another book,

It is indeed , a "chapter closed"

A E O N

Pale is thy cheek ,

weary are thy eyes,

thou hast carried woe as yer child,

kept it hidden,

misery as yer friend,

agonies yer biography,

truth would decorate thee ,

like a garland in yer soft grey locks,

for yer beauty lies in knowledge,

of years of wisdom,

wrinkled be thy skin,

it holds the folds of life stacked together,

of age ye hast come,

leaving back the vigour,

the youth,

time hath shown signs unto you,

the hands that shooketh not ,

now art frail and shaky,

thou art the pearl of the sea ,

with elegance has time moulded you,

into a jewel ,

O! lady , O! mother,

these hands soothed the warm forehead,

with fever and pain when it suffered,

strengthened and fed the youth,

taught and groomed ,

and let go off,

alone again in thy nest ye rest now ,

with memories ,

treasured and kept precious ,

in the heart that hast stayed young.

Sunset

Dangling at the edge of the day
Bright and warm
The sun drops down
Crimsons and yellows
Slowly slipping away
Into dust
Into haze
The sky is all liquid with agony
The colours melting and merging
Strokes of raptured symphony
Sung melodiously
The soul of the day drowned
Into dark leaping oceans of dread
Wrapped under the sheet of clouds
Golden edged
Baked and ripe
Scarlet dreams spill forth
When the two meet
Hand in hand

S P E L L

A soft whisper,

On the wings of the wind,

Like daisies and lilies and marigold,

Like rain melting the clouds,

Or a distant lark,

My soul shall taste the beauty,

Of rosy hue,

And drowsy numbness,

That thou cast upon me,

A spell so rich,

So warm,

To maketh my heart swell,

In mad pursuit,

In a trance I followeth thee,

Ye are but a sweet melody,

For a feverish heart in desire.

BELIEVER

He is to be felt in the seen & the unseen,

Verily there are signs for the believers,

Be steadfast & do not waiver,

For there are rewards,

Beyond thou imagination,

Thou shalt see & witness its happening,

And then shall it be proved,

Let the faith be blind ,

O ye believer,

Thy strength in in thy preserverence,

For when ye was in agony& thy heart cryeth out for help,

He was closeth to you than thy bossom,

And when thou calleth Him,

He opened his gates of mercy,

So open ye heart unto Him,

He who hath all knowledge,

Of days & nights,

Of moons & sun,

Of seasons and fruits,

So guideth thy soul to piety,

For he is the most gracious.

G Y P S Y

roun' the fire,

danced slowly,

to rythm and beats,

enticingly ,

smoothly ,

the toes moving as a serpent,

slick and suave,

as ambers of fire cast shadows,

flexing the arms,

swirling,

in a rage she moves,

bewitching,

captivating,

glistening skin,

dancing the night away into oblivion..

E n d

O' ye adamite,

behold!

do not rejoice your delay,

as it shall not last,

bow your head,

unto thy creator,

for there is an end,

to the sun ,

to the moon,

to this delusive world,

and to you,

naked shall the soul be then,

an attire of mud and clay cast off,

to return,

to give away ,

which never was yours,

to lie deep in the heart of earth..