Tears Of Shame...

My faith in self suffocates ,

The bits and pieces of broken shattered hope plunge into the soft flesh

Is it the bruised ego that clings onto the feathers that might one day make the wings,

Or am forced to believe in the strange myriad rules of the supreme .

I want to wash out the contempt with the rising waves ,

The mightier the tides get to devour me ,

Mightier gets the shame .

The attempts to move forth with force throw me back to where I began .

My knees go honey ,

As I fall to the ground ,

Crawling and trying to grasp and take hold of the fate.

The journey is as long as my flight down the hill ,

A free fall .

Gravity gripping my soul and pulling out all the light ,

All the kinetics of my existence.

I grow short of my wisdom to make for myself,

A dream .

A dream that each grain of sand that I walked upon would make me a home,

That each sunlit sky would be mine,

That my fears would only be proved wrong,

That my safety is in my prayers,

That my mosque is my leader's shrine too,

that my head when covered is to be patted and not blown away,

That when I draw faces in the mud it won't become a grave for the mass,

That when my children play ,they won't step over a landmine,

That I would have beard and wear a turban without fear,

That reading Quran would not be radicalism,

That I can again have the scholars and inventors that made ,what the world is now,

That I can stand and be strong,that I can live , flourish and even die taking His name,

That I see no blood covered bodies,

That I see no childless parents or a parentless child,

That I could be ME without shame,

That when the tears blind my eyes,

My vision to see beyond that does not blur..