Time is up ...

time is up ,
goodbye is all i have,
it's the most powerful expression of my hope and faith,
I am giving up on the controls,
like letting the ship steer itself into the storms,
repeated in parts..letting go wasn't easy,
the hand that was held , is empty and so am i...
but off i go , drifting into the roaring waves,
devouring me,
scraping out the marks left,
the imprints,
the dreams of moonlit nights,
walks in the mist,
enclosed in these bubbles are the fears and defeats..
be where ever you have to be,
the moments have come and gone,
I lived them,
the sun is melting,
the orange sky is biding farewell,
goodbye is all i have now...

D E L U S I O N S...

each year i come back to where i had been earlier,
wasn't i ever meant to be somewhere?
where did my destiny go?
the whole of which i was meant to be a part of..
All i see is my reflection in a hall of mirrors
i see them fade away
the dreams , into a watercolored sky and leafless winters,
the mechanism is hard to explain ,
i am gettin what i have wanted...
then what is this waiting about,
as if hoping for something to shape up,
a tangible reality is feeble ,
my surreal existence is making no attempt to confront itself
reducing it to insignificance,
rediculing life,
running up, against the walls of a caged delusion,
i am lackadaisical,
content to let the moments come and go,
my faults are common ones,
but cant be forgiven,
because i cant blame others.. when i decieve myself,
the silent rage of unspoken words .
i am an answer to what i've subjected my soul to.

....

take me, where we can sit a while
in silence
not thinking
not planning
bring back the twinkle in your eyes
wipe away the horrible darkness
lets get swept away
wrinkle up your nose and give me that smile
shrug the shoulders like you do
pour in some life
lean back , fold your arms and look through me
like you do
go on , crack silly jokes
i'll pretend to laugh
like i do
do whatever sets you free
even if it means that we have to let go
doesn't bother , if that is what it takes
am eager to bring the change
like i do
walk ahead ,just don't stop
even if it means walking alone
don't stand still
like i do
make me do, whatever it takes to make it better
i'll do it
like i always do
rise above yourself
for i place you higher than the rest
bring me a hope
the pulse
the rythm to wich my heart beats
the hope that it'd be ok
not just now
and not just tomorrow
tell me "so shall this pass too"
like you do
you can fake it , if you want to
but you know that i'll know
like i do
don't turn your back, face it
like you do
and the life will bring to you what you seek

Let it be

i dont want to dream ,
the ugliness is creeping into the veins..
don't ask me to stay...
i am drifting away..
away from myself..
the distorted reflections through a broken window..
the dew drops slide down the cold window glass...
I stand still and watch the sky move...
life goes on..
dead inside..
step by step...
soul is ripped..
the hollow body is dragged along..
losing the sense of space and time..
let it be..
let it be now..
just let it be as it is..
i want to stand where i am..
make no promises..
make no wishes..
let it be..
let it be..

Like a circle in a spiral Like a wheel within a wheel..Never ending or beginning. On an ever-spinning reel,As the images unwindLike the circles that you find.In the windmills of your mind. - - - Michel LeGrand "Windmills of Your Mind

Move On ...

The battles of wits should not be fought unarmed.Don't let the kind hearted pink soul inside your body rule your strong desire to move on.Unleash the decisiveness and hit the weak, decayed twigs hard. To stop being yourself is to stop living.Firm hold on one's beliefs is a key to unmasking the core of your existence.Take the errors off the examining table , even if it's the wrong , scary , dark tunnel - the possibilities of digging a way out are not feeble.Charge the electric impulse to stimulate the dead neurons , staying smaller than your true girth of wisdom is an insult to your intellect.Brush off the jumbled ends and lose threads , that tie unwanted knots. Set your thoughts free , win over your soul and protect it . Do not let the leaps of momentum against the currents die . To be yourself is the greatest joy in the world.

C H A N G E

Its not pain that provides pleasure , it's the idea of staying smaller than the true existence that provides comfort..
blindingly heading in a direction, building a pseudo thatch of weaved ,complex mesh of threads..
It's gathering noises around , too loud and too deafening , drowning the only voice that reminds one of the existence..
a drop of sunshine,
on a misty day ,
under the purple haze of orange edged clouds,
unfolding a new chapter,
blowing life into a dead night,
a puppet in the hands of nature?
beautifully designed to create a mirage,
could u then read the silent transformation,
of helpless change?
eloquently decorated,
perfect?
following a certain pattern of change..
again and again?
confessions of nightly secrets whispered into the ears of a new day...

Beyond The Common Door...

Trying to flex the fingers..grabbing the pillow ,n arm underneath..
twisting and toiling..writhing in pain , coiling up..
air feelin cold against the dampened cheek , a tear leaving its trace behind..
pulling the sheets up to the neck , turning the lamp on , the hand with the needle hittin the lamp shade..
wincing eyes , reachin for the book at the side table ..
flipping pages ...outlines of words gettin blurred..
anger , woe , disappointment
a point where the visions fades out and numbness creeps up.. needle pricks climb up the spine..
holding a hand over the lamp , warmth , life , sense, touch , vision , smell , sounds..noises
screams , waves lapping
i lock the doors again ,
clogging all the seives emitting light outside..

Behind this door,
That never did open;
Lay my tended garden,
No one ever did explore.
Sunflowers, daisies, and roses,
All colors kept alive & bright;
By the springs that flow,
With waters sweet,
reflecting light.
Many came;
some returned,
Thinking it was locked;
Some stayed a while,
Looked around,
Yet never found a key;
Funny how now they complain;
When they could've knocked,
Or just asked me?

Q U E S T

When the evening falls , the light merges into the dark..as in life in the hands of death and happiness in the hands of sorrow.It's like the nature chooses one over the other , the spraying of the night sky with a millions of specs like little people giggling and illuminating a dark hallway..shapes forming , elephants and zebras and a mother holding a baby ..illusions.Squinting and squeezing the lids to watch the light dance and touchin the rays with the tip of the finger to make them dissapear.Lying down , questioning the questions ..the dark secrets and tombs of the history..the answers lying in the present , the future..extracting bits and pieces from the past. A confusing conflict , one thought consuming the other..Skeptically going through all the details of thought process , ifs and buts and wishes..Keep bombarding the brain with more quests , losing touch with the reality.Misleading , faking ..to be what the mind has fabled up ,yearning to be found ..we deliberately drift into a sleep of ignorance..sweet lies and world of dreams..stay helplessly at peace , numb and empty.Devoid of soul ..